We have grown so impatient, stressed, and anxious that pausing for anything nowadays is considered either a luxury or crazy. Always rushing, always in a hurry. That is how we live now. And there are thousands of tools marketed to us daily that help us be busier in less time. Somehow, we were fooled into believing that's what we must do. That's how we must be to show value, belong, and be loved. If we're not busy, multitasking, and always on the go, something must be clearly wrong with us. We brag about not having time to do anything. We brag about working 80-hour weeks and being so proud of ourselves while we miss our kids' graduations, quality time with our partners and people we love, or just some much-needed alone time. Because that is not rewarded, not with money or promotion or anything tangible. And we have also been conditioned to value the tangible above all. We honk at people who don't drive the speed we want, we eat fast, and the restaurant staff will bring us the check before we even have dessert or coffee, or what if I wanted more food?
My point is we stopped enjoying life. Most of us are living surviving. It's a constant race, running faster, doing more in less time, rushing, pushing people out of our way, honking, yelling, kicking, screaming, and struggling. We no longer have time for friendships, hobbies, or taking a moment for ourselves. We live in a closed loop designed to keep us miserable – if I do more, get more, be more, I'll be more lovable. The system is playing into our deepest innermost desires – connection and belonging. And by keeping us busy, we can't see that it is the pause that has the answers. The pause lets us break the loop and step out of it. The pause brings true joy, love, and a sense of belonging in life. The pause allows us to take care of ourselves, heal, and be more aware. The pause makes us kinder and more compassionate with ourselves and others.
Daily, I look around and see people so tense and stressed (especially in a city like Los Angeles). It shows on their faces. Nobody smiles anymore, and people think I am crazy when I do. We are losing kindness and compassion. We believe we are the center of the universe, forgetting we share this space and coexist here with others. Being so busy, we forget that we all have different journeys, goals, and priorities. Consumed with our busyness, we develop tunnel vision and expect everyone to see everything our way. Never pausing to try and see the world as a whole, never pausing to understand other people's perspectives. Because we don't have the time to pause.
We don't allow ourselves to enjoy even the simplest things, like a nice meal with a friend, without thinking about what's next with one foot already out of the restaurant.
When was the last time you spent 10 minutes in silence, sitting still at home or in the park? When was the last time you enjoyed a quiet walk? When was the last time you enjoyed reading a good book? When was the last time you actually were enjoying the moment you were experiencing at the moment without looking at your phone?
While FOMO is very real for most of us and we constantly worry we will miss something if we stop rushing, the thing that we are actually missing is life itself. And we don't even realize that we are all just rushing to death.
Before it's too late, especially around this time of the year when we tend to gather with people we love and care about… Let's pause. Let's take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Let's allow ourselves to do nothing for a while and not beat ourselves up but embrace it. Let's put our phones away for a day. Let's try to eat slower and enjoy every bite of a home-cooked meal. Let's be present for the time we have decided to spend with others. Let's be kinder to one another. Let's approach each conversation from a place of compassion, no matter our differences. Let's choose joy. Let's choose now. Let's choose love. Because life is too short and will be gone before we know it. So, let's stop rushing and trying to make it even shorter. Let's be here. Now. Together.